April 18, 2006

Page 10
Holding a strong stance on many control issues, we had Stash politely turn down all initial offers and countered with our wants. In the meantime, to produce legitimacy behind our needs, the decision was made to play many more shows in the hope of pressing many of the interested parties into breaking and giving in to our demands. Basically, install fear that they might be lost in the crowd when we became officially recognized as an up and coming act, if they didn't show us their bare essentials now.
By foregoing the recording process, the aim became centered on undertaking our first tour of city's throughout the state, rather than sporadic one-offs here and there. Knowing full well this would take a lot of organization we were happy to have Stash on board and put him to work. An agreement was reached stating that although we couldn't afford to pay him now, he would have plenty of compensation in the near future. At present, we had nothing but our instruments between us and were breaking even off shows. However, the agenda stood that we aspired to make a name for ourselves through garnering the respect and admiration of our peers, regardless of debt; because you can only break out one time and we didn't want to jump the gun too early or make any major mistakes, there was still some insight and tinkering to do.
From an early age, my mom engraved in me the message that its not about leaving your mark, but rather its all about feeling your mark as its happening. Who cares for history, its the present you have to face. Sure, we were opting for the long painful road, but its that sweat that we wanted to experience and would strip us down to the bare essentials of who we truly are and what we are meant to accomplish. For my part, there was a selfish desire to feel our rise and to know we made it because of us and our music and that alone. To this point in my time here, I've passed my days without ever really acknowledging them as they went. Rather the mind is always re-hashing the past and hoping for a future void of the feelings held in my current state. Having never lived for the present, but merely basing decisions on fulfilling others wishes, the alarm clock was finally ringing. Too many books had been read simply based on fulfilling a goal of just getting to the next chapter. To many accolades had been accumulated purely to build a resume containing other people's goals or desires, when it was clear I found no happiness in these achievements myself.

April 03, 2006

Page 9
Finally the day hit where I knew it was all starting. Stash O'Connor was a solid friend who would constantly fill my desire for not speaking by more than compensating my silence in jammering on himself. He had a tendancy to dictate stories which always included the most unneccessary details of sidetrack events. To elaborate, in replaying a concert he attended, he once felt obligated to include the knowledge that he stopped at 7-11 on the way, and was shocked to find Snicker's bars on sale for 69c, when they are regularly 89c. So, he picked up two and gave one to his buddy Brad, before realizing Brad was allergic to nuts, in which case he had the opportunity to enjoy both bars. It was on this trait of not missing the importance of recognizing and relaying the most minute and fruitless details that I vouched for him when the band got together and recognized we were pressed to hire a manager. Things were becoming chaotic and it was a consensus amoung the group that we couldn't control thing on our own anymore. Besides, when you start mixing business and music, enjoyment is taken out of the latter, and I couldn't allow for my head to detest its constant focus. So, Stash took pride in re-assuring the band that it was a logical decision and not one we would soon come to regret. At this conclusion, we felt assured that no label would be able to put a fast one by us via the small print.
Now that we had a manager, we could formally let the bargaining process begin and flood in it did. It seemed everyone in the music industry was throwing lucrative offers to have the privelage of recording and releasing our debut effort. But again, we knew time was on our side and we had way to much patience. Stash's quick and dedicated mastering of recording and publishing contracts allowed him to uncover the well concealed fine print in all the initial offers thrown our way. These contracts awarded the labels full recoupment on all advances, complete control of the creative process and all release decisions. We understood it would be difficult and near impossible to garner much pressure or power over our debut contract, but we felt it made no sense to rush into anything which would only fill the pockets of suits around us. Arrogance also had us believing we should be setting the rules and making demands with all the attention encircling us.
Besides, you know what some of the additional wording on these modern day contracts allow? They afford labels the executive decision and expressive right to pursue legal action against anyones unauthorized use of uncopyrighted material without the bands consent, yet its supposedly on the bands behalf. Basically, whether (as a band) you support downloading or not, the label will squeeze every last penny they can from the general public; in the meantime, you take all the heat in being perceived as the 'new Metallica', in the ignorant and greedy bastards column. The truth is, I fully support downloading and so should all non-commercial acts as the best promotion tool available. To elaborate, it may hurt the entire industry's sales as a whole, but for any new artist looking to make a name for themself, such free promotion can only increase sales, rather than hurt. Its like when you were younger and you would let a friend who couldn't afford all the latest Nintendo games borrow the new 'Lethal Enforcers'; than when your Dad tripped upon this news, he would bark "You what? No, you can't lend out your things like that, if you don't get it back now, you'll probably never see it again, call him up NOW!" Even than being the rightful owner you felt like you had no control over what was yours and this brought only resentment towards your father for not trusting your friends and never allowing you to make your own choices. Sure, he was only looking out for your own good, but this categorization also includes the fact he was making you more selfish in only looking out for your own good. Understand, I'm not claiming to be an under-educated and in-experienced teenager, I see the other side of the coin. There are clearly negative affects stemming from the allowance of file-sharing, but these are far out-weighed by what is gained. My belief is simply, the millionaire artists and powerful artists should quit their whining already, so what if they can't break record sales or get gold trimming in their houses. Its about time the playing field is leveled and opened up to everyone and kids aren't suckered into buying overhyped LP's, share the wealth.